My Dad used to refer to me as an "accident waiting to happen". Dad always had a way with words. I'm just still wondering if I've "happened" yet, or if I'm still waiting. I guess he was on to something though, as most of my career has been quite accidental. They say that if you fail to plan, then you're planning to fail. Well what if you just fail to get up in the morning? That's a win-win in my book. And I don't even have a book. But if I did have a book, you can bet that one would be right in there. I don't know much, but I do know that if I plan to plan then I'll never fail to fail. And that doesn't sound all that bad to me.
So this is the part where most comedians would go on to list all the nifty places they've performed. Let's not do that. I'm not very good with lists. Besides, my memory has never been any good. In short, I've performed for 2,500 people at the Cape Cod Melody Tent and I've performed for four toothless drunks in the basement of some God-awful Chinese restaurant that thankfully burned down years ago. Along the way I've done everything in between. I've stood on boats, bars, table tops and milk crates. I've entertained in theatres, lecture halls, ballrooms and at Fortune 500 companies. I've done high schools, colleges, senior homes and bachelor parties (and even one bachelorette party!). If there's a microphone, you can bet I've been there.
So now you know me. What's your story? Make your presence known and sign my guestbook below.
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Add your message
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Jim W
Pittsburgh, PA
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May 15, 2008 @ 11:41 PM
Hey, you need to borrow my Aladin video tape to lure women to the OTC while you're at the USOC Intern reunion in October? Still telling the female condom joke? Please hold the mayo.
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John Turco
Naples Florida
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May 10, 2008 @ 5:09 AM
My name is John Turco but I am not funny.
John Turco
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MySpace Guy
11 Morgan Rd
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May 8, 2008 @ 12:37 AM
You look like a Homo...
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Scott
Plainville, MA
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May 2, 2008 @ 5:14 AM
Who is gonna be the headliner tomorrow? What's the address of the club?
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Kathy
Norwood
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Apr 20, 2008 @ 5:02 PM
Ya John thanks for firing me. Oh well guess you can only blame yourself now if your schedule isn't updated. Great job opening night. Can't wait to come back. I'll make sure I eat first. See ya
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rick sinnott
e taunton, ma
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Apr 19, 2008 @ 8:34 PM
hi john, im a fan and somewhat new 2 standup (9 months) also a friend of tom hammah hanrahan looking foward 2 coming down 2 your club and maybe getting a chance 2 performon one of the shows have doon 6 shows 4 annette pollack
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Mary K
Norwell
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Mar 31, 2008 @ 10:39 AM
Hi John......good for you....always knew you were heading for greatness..You have great genes! btw.. I loveloved the joke aboout the thouchskin jeans..My kids have never forgiven me for them either....10 kinds of plaid! gotta love it...
Hope to see you in your new club. I will spread the word!
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John Joseph Turco
Sault Ste. Marie Ontario
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Mar 28, 2008 @ 8:54 PM
Hi again there John.It is really nice to hear from you again. Anyway I am from Sault Ste. Marie Ontario. It sure would be nice if we could meet up together. I know that it just seems like a dream come true. Like I said before I never thought that,it's like talking to myself on the internet.Anyways its not likely but my birthday is on Dec 16 1955. It has really been pleasure talking to you. And where are you from again?  
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tj
Colorado Springs
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Mar 27, 2008 @ 9:32 PM
So, guess what?! I get Jan's emails and I was thrilled to hear you're doing well! Drop a note when you can... I'd love to get caught up.
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Monica Fitzgerald
Sanford, Maine
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Mar 15, 2008 @ 8:31 PM
Hey, don't forget that swanky little sports bar in Sanford that brought in all 6 of us that one night...lol we love you. 
we miss you alot
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